18 March 2018

It has come to a point in my year that I've been expecting for a while. It seems that I've been overworking myself and it has finally got the better of me. I'm going to be taking a break from my blog and Youtube for as long as I need (I don't expect this to be long at all, a week minimum) to recover, getting my headspace back to where it needs to be. My mental health has plummeted over the past few weeks due to the amount of work I've been taking on and the pressures from university/my personal life. I've never taken a break before but I feel like it's well needed (and if I say so myself, deserved) after non-stop working for as long as I can remember.

It is important to take a step back when life gets too much; no more justifying why you need a break, just HAVE one if your mental and physical health is struggling. I know I'm not living the hardest life studying at university, running my blog and Youtube channels as my part time job and writing articles for my uni. However, I feel like the amount of time I'm working on all of these things has built up to a point where my head is about to explode. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love what I do; writing has been my passion for years and being able to expand my creativity on a new platform, Youtube, over the past couple of years has been crazy. I've made new friends, worked with highly credible brands and been to events that I never thought my work would allow me to do. I think the underlying issue is that working on my platforms, pretending to be this happy and positive soul, can become almost toxic/fake, when there are personal things going on in my life. I've gone into detail about some of the troubles I'm facing, as generally I'm an open and honest gal that doesn't mind sharing what's going on in my life; nonetheless, some things just aren't for the camera or for others to know. The past week has put me in a position where I'm desperately trying to put the broken pieces together so I can meet the deadlines for my uni work, blogging work and still have the time to catch up with my family and friends. My life is just mental at the minute and I'm longing for a way to slow it down.

After an incident happened at the doctor's this week, I've been in this awful whirlpool of being self-critical and self-loathing. It has been the worst it has been since sixth form and I'm trying my upmost hardest to value myself. Over the next week, I'm going to take care of my body by cleansing it with nutritious foods, set realistic goals (instead of piling up 11 things to do in a single day), drink water, surround myself with good people and have a chat with my closest pals if I'm becoming too stressed. 'A problem shared is a problem halved' is what my mum always taught me; talking about the way you feel or the worries you've personally escalated can not only take a huge weight off of your shoulders but it gives the chance for another to share their opinion and reassure you! Opening up is the best thing I ever started doing after being bullied. It's strange to think that I would be the person to bottle up my thoughts and feelings until my mind transformed into a dark cloud of pessimism and neglect. If you are currently struggling with something serious right now (don't feel it has to be life-threatening) then please share your problems. I'm always an email away if you just want to chat about your life to someone who will keep everything confidential or if you don't want to share your problems with someone in your current life. 

Do you fail to give yourself a break? Do something today that will allow you time to relax.

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