Adapting to Change

27 October 2017

Change is a scary thing. My whole life I've been a creature of habit - as soon as I find something that I like and works well,  I stick to it. Whether it be something small like a food habit or purchasing a repetitive skincare product to something more significant like a scheduled everyday routine; I used to always shy away from trying something different. 2017 is the year where change has had a HUGE impact on my life. There are both small and large portions of my life that have changed significantly within the past 10 months and I've decided to dedicate this post to CHANGE, and why adapting to new, different things can be exciting and refreshing.

Before I get into the main body of this post, I thought I would highlight the incredible photography of my favourite Autumnal outfit this year. All images are taken by the wonderful John Roberts who I have linked here and will at the end of the post. Make sure to check out his pages to see all his work and contact him on his site if you wish to purchase or looking for a photographer!

It's time to get personal...Whenever something new occurred or disrupted my usual pattern, I would have a panic attack. My brain would overthink uncontrollably, I'd go into complete meltdown and it was impossible for me to relax or take the change as it comes. It has always been difficult to get over my fear of 'change', as it always reminded me of a time in my life where changed had previously happened and sent my body into shutdown mode. Sometimes it wasn't even change that gave me anxiety, it was even fresh starts. A significant memory that sticks out was moving from 2015 into 2016 - as soon as the new year started, my mind entered overload. I couldn't concentrate at school, I would cry every single day and isolate myself in my room. Fortunately, I was able to consult a local counsellor who recognised my problem and aided me to recovery. It all sounds very serious and at the time I honestly didn't think it was - I always told myself I was overreacting and it's probably just 'hormones' but nothing I ever felt seemed normal. After spending a lot of time talking about my problems with various people (I CANNOT RECOMMEND THIS ENOUGH IF YOU FEEL ILL OR WANT HELP) I built up the courage to defeat the voice in my head telling me I would never be able to have a 'fresh start', 'adapt to change' or even 'move on'.

2016 was such a difficult year for me. I felt like everything that could have possibly gone wrong did and I couldn't see myself achieving anything or getting better. How wrong was I?! This year I have pushed myself to be as successful as physically possible, getting to the next stage in my life and moving onto a better chapter. I'm already so proud of the progress and comparison from where I am now to where I was this time last year. It is crazy that my perspective on life has blossomed; I look at opportunities completely differently and am more than happy to try something different. Don't get me wrong, I still love organisation and a somewhat fixed everyday schedule but I will say yes to helpful opportunities, sign up to new things and push myself to overcome my anxiety in public settings. I used to cower at speaking to people in the bank, on the phone or asking for help/advice but now I see the good that comes with reaching out to people. 

The turning point of my happiness came quite recently when I moved out to university. I was terrified, to say the least, of fending for myself and truly being thrown into adulthood. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't an immature eighteen year old in my hometown...I made some incredibly mature decisions back there. However, I was ridiculously anxious to speak up for myself and more than anything, worried I wouldn't find the complete fulfilling happiness that I desired. My dream was to move to university, find friends that were going to be long-term, enjoy learning my forensics course, somehow become successful at 'adult-ing' and be content with life. Now I am so happy to say that I feel exactly this. Although there have been some minor struggles (for instance, I can't cook for sh*t), I have seen a massive change in my behaviour and for that, I give myself a pat on the back! I've pushed myself to speak up in seminars in large groups of people, made the first move to talk to new people in social environments and even placed an application for the University's student blog - which I managed to get approved! Everything is looking up and I cannot wait for my future years at university. There are lots more exciting things to come and many an experience to share...

Thank you for sticking by me and always supporting my content.

Have you ever had to adapt to change, small or big? How did you overcome it?

Twitter : @JOhNPhoto4U 

Lots of love

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